Goodbye 2011 from Janette Miller

Last day of 2011. I loved it! Best year I have had since 2002 so it is a time to reflect and think how lucky I am to have managed to get this far.

Back in 2002 when I became so ill that I nearly died I would have given my eye teeth for just one day of 2011. Clostridium Difficile plus Giardia plus the horrific death of my husband and the subsequent effects of Benzodiazepine, tricyclics and Vancomycin had left me a physical mess but alive.

Fortunately not a mental mess although the drugs had wrecked my nervous system and my internal organs. I was like a canackered apple perfect on the outside and rotten to the core. I did not know how to live through one day let alone survive 10 years! If anyone had told me that I would see 2012 I would not have believed them.

But I have! Although I shall never be back to my old healthy self my life is now more or less normal. My head no longer spins continually, my balance is back and I can wait in queues in the supermarket. I have gone from misery to comfortable. I was lucky most in my situation do not live. 30 sufferers that I knew died. One man in the USA was so nice. I spoke to him on the phone. He was so desperate he hung himself in the garage.

Now I can sleep all night and if I am careful I can eat what I want but still I regret nothing beginning with C like citrus, curry and coffee.

Some things will never be normal for me again. My lack of an immune system  really means I have to live alone to avoid bugs. I do not enjoy it but it gives me the time to do the things I love. Wagner said the greatest threat to creativity was the pram in the hall!   I am fortunate to have plenty of time to myself to learn how to use the technology that is necessary to be part of the world today. I can and do take part. I learned to sing again without an accompanist.

I have lost one or two dear friends to death this year and my daughter had a lousy time with death and earthquakes too. Because we live so far apart I was very little help but even so this year has been memorable as you can see from the above.

I should love to share my life with more people in real life but I do my best with YouTube and Facebook and of course this blog. Here I can be franker than I am in real life. I have it printed out each year for my grand daughter who I hardly see, again mostly because I cannot travel, so that she can know something of her 'strange' granny.

But even with all my problems I am lucky. To an outsider my life looks pretty good and it is but let me assure you all not one of you would want to go through my last ten years to achieve what I have today.

Lastly my greatest friend is my garden. It has never given up on me or I on it. I have loved it and it has repaid my efforts of 37 years. I think it is my greatest achievement.

So onto to 2012. From now on I live through dangerous territory but at least I have lived.

Happy New Year to all.

A Disgraceful Year with The English National Ballet

In 1947 when I was four I watched the opening of Belsen on BBC Television. It put me off God for life. I knew at that moment that any God who allowed those horrors was no God of mine.

Last night I had the same revulsion to ballet after watching The Agony and the Ecstasy: The English National Ballet I found the content of whole series appalling and disgraceful. According to this series the way the company was managed appeared to be amateur and cruel and I am surprised  that Wayne Eagling remains the artistic director and that government funding continues for the company and it seems I am not alone.

I ran a small professional opera ballet company for 14 years with no funding and under continual financial difficulty. I am a woman and this was the only way for me. I was forced to do it myself so it was with great educational interest that I watched the  programme to see how my peers ran their companies. Here was my chance to learn how to do it properly. I have no wish to do it again but I was naturally intrigued.

What I saw shocked me. I had no idea that a ballet company could be run like that! If I had managed my company small though it was like that I should expect to fail and receive no funding.  What shocked me most was the disrespectful manner in which the dancers were treated by the management, the artistic director and the male choreographers. These wonderful talented artists who give their lives for their art were treated like dirt. If I had ever treated a dancer or singer as the dancers of The English National Ballet appear to put up with daily my dancers would, rightly, have walked out and I deserved to be prosecuted for abuse .

Their undervalued  and loyal ballerina Daria Klimentova was embarrassingly and distressingly treated. The company does not deserve her.  Derek Deane the choreographer of Swan Lake at the Albert Hall was a tyrant. His remarks on camera showed he had nothing but distain for the woman and dancers who were to save his career on the night.

It was not Klimentova's fault that the company had failed to get a Visa for the Russian ballerina.  The Management should have arranged one the moment the Russian ballerina had been hired possibly a year before. To leave it until a day before the ballerina was needed and be refused was their fault and bad bad management. The management had also failed to see that the conductor had attended rehearsals. He only turned up for the dress rehearsal and of course it was chaos. The conductor who may have been excellent at other times had no idea of what he was doing and damn near wrecked the whole thing. This should not have been allowed to happen.

Klimentova was expected to step in at the last moment  not only with the orchestra in chaos but with a talented but inexperienced 20 year old Vadim Muntigirov making his debut in a star role at the Albert Hall. Deane's treatment of her was a disgrace. He refused to speak to her after the dress rehearsal as obviously he felt her performance was inadequate. This is not the way to get a performance out of anyone. At this moment Kilmentova should have left.

The saddest shots were of Kilmentova and Muntigirov waiting to go on for the hellishly difficult Act III Black Swan pas de deux. They were in a corridor looking like frightened, naughty children facing a firing squad. Yet these two were supposed to go out and pull this management and choreographer out of the shit.

Wayne Eagling's behavior was simply grotesque during the rehearsal period of The Nutcracker. Because of his lack of preparation and his strange way of working he had not finished the ballet. His answer was not to let the dancers have a run through. Eagling is a dancer himself! It was only because of the professionalism  and loyalty of the dancers that this company scrapped through the opening night. Again it was Kilmentova who got them out of a disaster.

I think if this is the way ballet is achieved these days it is about time all grants were withdrawn. Ballet in my day was never run like this. If I were a mother today my children would not be encouraged to become professional ballet dancers.

But why I ask myself is Wayne Eagling still the artistic director? Even if this ballet management method gets results it is surely unethical? Ballet is not a gulag or a concentration camp where inmates starve and worked to death for art.


I was revolted and I want no part of ballet if it is run like this today. 

Copyright Obama and YouTube and free speech

YouTube, Twitter and dancing Schools are in danger of ten years prison under new copyright rules that are in the process of being passed by the USA Congress.

This is not a joke. If this law passes it will mean that any infringement of copyright by a single YouTube user could mean the whole website can be legally taken down. The USA authorities do not have to give any reason they can just remove the website and there is nothing anyone can do. The wrong doer will face up to ten years in prison.

Up until now YouTube, Twitter and Facebook have been protected from its users' copyright infringements but the Obama administration is against this. Many think this legislation is the greatest threat to free speech in present times.

Even the Library of USA is against this Bill. As it stands Audio Archiving is at a stand still as it is virtually impossible not to break some sort of copyright law. Ditto with scanning books which are in danger of disintegration because of the Brittle Book Syndrome although some progress is being made in that direction.

All to protect the Big Content Users who are persuasive lobbyists and the only group to benefit from this legislation which will stifle progress and hamper archiving for future generations. Already our computers are being monitored for shared files. You probably do not notice this but any person who uploads videos  to YouTube as I do will be aware of the copyright notice infringement that arrives with threats even if the composer is Mozart.

Copyright legislation is a mess. Some copyrights on work created 177 years ago will still remain in copyright until 2067. Also it means if you sing a song or your child dances to a copyright song on YouTube you could spent the next ten years in prison.

I have been a victim of artistic vandalism when Boosey & Hawkes had the tapes of the 1959 production of Britten's Turn of the Screw destroyed. I should like to upload September by Richard Strauss but cannot arrange a license even for ready money. This sort of negative activity only serves the publishers and not the artist. Fortunately R Strauss is out of copyright on 8 September 2019. I can wait.

This is a sad day for the creative artist and amateur performer. Today Shakespeare could not function under these restrictions. If today's conditions were in force Britten would not have been able to write any of his operas as they are based on previous creations. For many artists their work will be lost through lack of archiving.

I decided last year that from now on I should only sing and work on composers that are definitely out of copyright as it is the only safe way. I am in the happy position of being to do everything myself but this is limiting and I suspect I am one of the few if not the only one who can do it all myself. I am now limited to works written before 1923 which is sad because I sing 1930's music well.

YouTube, Twitter and Facebook are now under threat. Anything that the Big Content Users and the USA government do not like and they will go. Please oppose this Bill.

Hypothecation or How to Have your Cake and Eat It

Have you heard of Hypothecation? I hadn't until I watched Russian TV The Keiser Report. I thought he was joking but when I looked up  Hypothecation in Wikipedia there is was just as Keiser had defined. In fact it was the definition Keiser used.

The first is the common definition but scroll down a bit to the Rehypothecation section and this is where it begins to get scary.

Rehypothecation

Goldman Sachs Tower – banks that provide Prime brokerageservices are able to expand their trading operations by re-using collateral belonging to their counter-parties.

Re-hypothecation occurs when banks or broker-dealers re-use the collateral posted by clients such as hedge funds to back the broker's own trades and borrowings.

In the UK, there is no limit on the amount of a clients assets that can be rehypothecated,^[3] except if the client has negotiated an agreement with their broker that includes a limit or prohibition. In the US, re-hypothecation is capped at 140% of a client's debit balance.^[4][5][6]

That means the world's banks, if they use the City of London, can have their cake and eat it and go on eating it for as long as they like. They use our savings over and over again and eventually you and I will pay.

Like a second mortgage the UK banks can take out a second loan, and a third loan and a fourth loan  ad infinitum all on the original deposit which you and I gave them for safe keeping. They just eat our cake and go on eating.

No wonder David Cameron wanted the City of London exempt from new European bank regulations and no wonder Europe would not comply. It looks as if the City of London is running a giant Ponzy scheme and like all Ponzy schemes it will be found out. I cannot believe that my country men could do this!

If I can see this is a mess why can't our leaders?

I never thought it would be Russia TV that would point this out. Russia is not part of this great scheme of things and can take a more objective view as Russia can sit back and watch the West crash safe in the knowledge that it is rich in natural resources and can survive.

Be warned. Innocence and ignorance are unwise traits.

My Favorite Elizabeth Taylor Jewel - Edith Head Necklace

Elizabeth Taylor had the most fabulous jewels but the one I covet is not any of the diamonds, pearls and goose egg emeralds but the necklace above.

It is just a bit of gold and a few bits of ivory but the associations make it for me priceless. The necklace was commissioned by Edith Head the famous Hollywood dress designer who designed Grace Kelly's wedding dress which influenced the dress worm by Kate Middleton at this year's wedding of the year.

The necklace is simply a collection of Opera Tokens that were used by the London theaters in the second half of the 19 century to denote the occupiers of the box named on the night of the month. You bought a box on a certain night for a season. That is what I find so fascinating. I love opera, I love Covent Garden, I love dress design and I love jewelry.

This was Head's signature necklace which she wore daily and eventually left it to Elizabeth Taylor and that is why it came up among the sale of her major jewels at Christie's New York last night.

Tantalizingly  Christies suggested price range was well within reach just US$1,500/2000  and I did dream. I reckon that if it did not have the associations that it was worth more than that in gold alone. I actually went as far as to contact Christies about making a bid.

I would have gone to US $15,000 including buyer's premium. My DVD sales are good and I have a few spare US dollars which will only lose value. In truth my bid was well over the top for what the necklace is actually worth with no associations and I doubt if it will hold its price. Famous personalities soon  disappear into oblivion in the sands of time and although the great personalities may be remembered Edith Head is not one of them, even Elizabeth Taylor is suspect.

I thought better of it! Other than leave the necklace to Auckland Museum I have little use for it as I seldom go out these days but I was interested to see what it fetched - a staggering US $314,500! It was on at Number 3 of the evening's sale . Christies placed it well to get maximum price. If it had been tucked into one of the lesser sales four days later I could have been in with a chance.

But at least I have my dream although I lost out to a higher bidder I tried and lost but at least I tried. If I were young I should collect the  opera tokens and 'do it myself' as it seems I always have to do. I am a great collector. Like Taylor I have charm bracelets galore but I am older and wiser now so I won't but I may have something similar made if I can think of a substitute for the tokens.

The Dark Side of Ballet

Last week I wrote of my love of ballet.  Ballet in the fifties and sixties was a magical art. But today although the ballet technique has improved beyond the impossible ballet for women and increasingly for men too has become a  Dark Art where starving to dance  has become the norm and socially acceptable.

Obviously I have been aware of the Eating Disorders for some time and I have been surprised that steps have not been taken to prevent this condition but this week I became aware of just how emotive this topic is when I commented on the excellent Facebook site Ballet News who invited members to comment on this emotive subject.

As I have had much experience and have witnessed these Eating Disorders at a professional level I broke a rule I made to myself and commented on the subject. The Ballet News editor who is nameless wanted dietitians to recommend a Safe diet for young dancers when I pointed out perhaps too forcefully that there is NO SAFE DIET all my posts were removed and a deathly silence has ensued.

I have no intention of making Eating Disorders a life priority but suppose I must take a stand. If ballet vocations were cigarettes a sign would be put on the package to say that ballet as a vocation could ruin your health with pictures like this to discourage the applicant.


What has ballet come to that we are prepared to let out girl and boy children starve themselves for their art? In my day Eating Disorders were unheard of. Even GP's and I was married to one had never come across the affliction. Ballet Companies employed normal women. Margot Fonteyn's figure at the time would not make it today. She would be considered obese! Not so today. Everybody has heard of Eating Disorders and one in eight sufferers die of it and yet in ballet it is still regarded as Taboo! It is unseen!

I was born in an age where food was short, ordinary life was beginning again and perfection was not required.  At my ballet school we looked and behaved like ordinary school children. Diet was never mentioned. At AES we were well fed and made to eat lunch every day. Chocolate semolina  had to been eaten! At Covent Garden I saw steak on the menu for the first time on a regular basis. Dancers were fed when the rest of then population was still rationed or steak priced like gold.

I was a size 10/12 all through my musical career and was considered normal. All of us were this size. At Covent Garden it was the odd thin ballerina, Annette Page was the first ultra thin dancer and she stood out because it was painful to watch. Belsen was never far from our thoughts at that time. It was unfashionable to be ultra thin. The pictures of starving adults were in our minds and alive.

Even in the 70's when I ran a professional ballet company my dancers were of slight build but in  now way skeletal and they look perfectly acceptable. You can see this in my Children's Ballet Series Dance Tales for the BBC or my pilot Bluebirds danced by The Royal Ballet Sadlers Wells.  What is unacceptable about them?

Today technique and styles have changed. The huge, spectacular lifts which were unknown in Petipa's time require female dancers that are liftable. The current style in everyday street fashion is for models to look like an inmates of Belsen. Male Fashion designers appear to hate the women they dress as they make us look so unattractive and this has spilt over into the world of ballet.

I gave up teaching ballet and rhythmic gymnastics when I became aware of the danger to young girls of eating disorders. After a lifetime I felt I had to give it up as my conscience would not allow me to continue just as I could not cast a young boy as Miles in The Turn of the Screw  as I know what the plot is about. It was a personal decision and one I have not regretted it as I can live with myself but I think it is time for the world of ballet to put an end to starving dancers to give pleasure to a few. Dancing Skeletons even dressed in white tulle are not attractive and dangerous to health.

Change has to come from the top. It is up to the Companies and Schools to put the house in order. They could do it if public opinion and dancer's parent force them to do so. Dancers today are not appreciated. A recent ballet programme of a well known company gave notes on bio notes on everyone except the dancers.  Dancers who are the companies' bread and butter  were overlooked. Their years of training, starving and self discipline were not worth a mention but the set designer was.

Dancers are worth more than that.

The Beauty of the Human Body

Seeing the video of depicted in the picture above reminded me of just how beautiful the human body can be. It made me appreciate just how lucky I was to be taken to the ballet because ballet is the one art where the living human body is shown to its most magnificent advantage. My eye was trained to enjoy both the male and female form. I realize now that this is extremely rare.

Most people I know do not like ballet. They may enjoy the odd  Swan Lake but they do not know anything of the art. Ballet is one of the few moments where one can enjoy the unadorned human form both male and female. The only other moments one gets is the Olympic Games where one can appreciate the superb athletes in swimming, diving and gymnastics although in gymnastics the male is clothed in the most unattractive trousers and lack of turn out ruins the line.

Most normal people have no idea what the human body can do or express as they never see it. Classical ballet shows the human form off to perfection that is why it has lasted for centuries. Today the ballet dancer's technique has reached a level that I thought unobtainable when I was a child. Ballet dancers are doing things with their bodies that seem impossible. The strength and beauty and the line they obtain is nothing short of heavenly. There is nothing so sexy as ballet dancers in full flight.

As a child I was trained as a classical ballet dancer at Arts Educational Schools in London. I spent my youth at Covent Garden watching and appearing in The Royal Ballet. If I had my time again I should devote all of it to ballet. Dancing ballet is so satisfying. It never disappoints and watching ballet is the same. I hear music in terms of dance. Even today I can feel the dancers dancing. I know  the sensation and it is fulfilling.


Nothing I say can express what I mean as well as the video below.