Now I have reached the 'September' of my life perhaps it is the time to look back and take stock. Over the past few days I have had the time and the confidence to do this. There is no doubt about it this is a wonderful world and I am lucky and privileged to be part of it.
Thanks to my mother I went to the most beautiful school. The education was not up to much but the environment of a fairy castle, for Rosary Priory was housed in an enchanted rich man's fantasy, was the main pivot of my life and to so major extent still is. We are our education.
The nun's, strict as they were taught me about life and guilt for which I am ever grateful. They taught me that life is not fair, that we are not all born equal and some of us are more 'equal' than others. I was one of the 'lucky' ones. I was one of the 'few that were chosen by God to do his work on earth'.
I loved my religious instruction lessons and became very good at it. I even was first in RE and had the honor of being introduced to the Cardinal and kissing his enormous amethyst ring. I was commend for not being disappointed at not actually receiving the beautiful missal for the best in RE as I was a non catholic, the tiny matter of my mother's mixed marriage meant that although I was brought up a Catholic it was not policy to actually give a non catholic the Catholic prize but I was to offer this sacrifice up to God and I would receive my prize in heaven! At the time I should rather have had the missal but a few years later I consoled myself that it was now out of date as the Latin Mass hit the dust so God was on my side.
My father was not amused and took me away as the nuns had also manipulated my place in class from first to almost last by losing my exam papers. But this did not lessen my faith and I religiously fulfilled all the rituals for the next 18 years. At 16 I was received into the Catholic Church and immediately the next day felt I had 'made a big mistake'! I lost my faith overnight but a very nice priest said.. we all do and I just carried on.
But by the age of 28 I did in fact lose it again for good. I was in St Peter's Rome at the time, a very good place to lose one's faith and I just lost it! Like that! I saw what an extremely hollow and corrupt this institution was and that was it!
I never gave it a thought until today. This is a very special day for me as I am beginning to think I might have been wrong. It matters not that the whole thing is based on two people, our first parents, Adam and Eve who it seems never actually existed but in whom I have to believe 'did actually ,really live'. ( I know , I know, but Catholics have to believe the impossible). This Adam & Eve really lived and committed 'Original Sin' on behalf of us all for which we must all pay the price of eternal damnation.
It matters not that the priests abuse their altar boys and terrify their children with crucifixes and blood and tales of torture. It matters not that women are relegated to slave status. It matters not that children are taught to believe impossible things really happened at school to the detriment of their education for the real world. The important thing is that Jesus loves us all even though there is no evidence that he ever lived.
The Pope is the most wonderful, sacred being. God's link to us on earth. How could I ever doubt all this for one moment. The Pope tells me what to believe - like the Virgin Mary was bodily taken up to heaven after she died! Not possible I know but if I want to be a Catholic again I have to believe it from my heart. It matters not that by preventing the use of condoms millions may die in Africa from HIV AIDS. What the Pope demands is what Jesus wants who am I to question this? It is so obviously true!
The new Me is born again!
I know all my school friends will be delighted that I have again returned to the fold like the prodigal daughter and shall now avoid the fires of hell. I can now send 'Jesus loves you' emails to all my friends!
As I said this is a very SPECIAL DAY!
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