Monday, May 30, 2016

The Downside of not taking Selfies - Janette Miller

The UK Guardian had an excellent article on the excessive taking of photos explaining that taking photos is not living but taking your own obituary 

As you point your phone at everything from Notre Dame to a slice of chocolate cake, remember these images will take on significance only after you have gone - by Rana Dasgupta
There is a lot to be said for not taking photos but doing this does have a downside. My husband, who I loved dearly, hated taking photos. He said one should retain the moment in the memory, that this was far more valuable than having a photograph. He was extremely persuasive in his argument. Consequently we never took a camera with us all through our 30 years of a very happy marriage.
Then suddenly he died well before his time. It was that moment and really for ever after that I discovered he was wrong. I have very few visual memories of our time together or with the time we spent with our daughter when she was growing up.
Fortunately he relented, once, and I was allowed to take three rolls of Kodak slides on my box camera when we went to Greece. My parents took a few including a couple of out of focus on our wedding day. Only one video and on that occasion it was a song of which my husband did not approve so he started to lampoon it and make faces, very funny at the time but not now. In fact it is grotesque but it is his only visual memorial. He had the most wonderful voice and that too is missing. If only I had a recording of him saying "I love you darling" or "Hello, darling" as he did whenever I opened the front door. I could have done this if he had let me. I produce TV.
However we did sing every day for 30 years and right at the end of his life we decided to record a Schubert Song Cycle, Die Winterreise for our daughter to have something to remember us by. We recorded the first 12 songs but then before we were ready to do the second 12 he got his death sentence. With great courage he played and I sang the last 12 and this is really the only thing I have to remember him by as you can see in the video I have a few seconds of him playing the piano on video and I had to slow motion that to get enough and one small photo that shows how happy we were. Mark you what a way to go!
Yes, I have a few photos of him left, from his youth, our Greek Trip and photos others have taken but not enough, not mine and few together. So the lesson is everything in moderation. Personally I'd go for it because you are a long time dead and I do miss him, funny faces or not.

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