Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Nigella Lawson' sense of failure at Motherhood

Modern mothers feel a “huge sense of failure” as they struggle to raise their children the right way, according to Nigella Lawson.
The Domestic Goddess said parents are bombarded with so much conflicting advice on child-rearing that it creates a constant sense of anxiety.
“People who don’t have children imagine that their whole lives would be all right if they had children, but they don’t realise that having children gives you lots of problems; one is constantly worried,” said Lawson, who is mother to Cosima, 18, and Bruno, 16.
“Also I think it’s impossible to be a mother without a huge sense of failure. 
Nigella Lawson Telegraph

I admire mothers of today. They have a thankless task. If they go out to work they are neglecting their children and if the stay at home they are a drain on the economy.
We do our best! Children do not come with a manual. Maybe men could help a little more. Why is it that husbands expect that they never to have to take time off work but their wife can drop everything when their child has a cold? Sharing responsibility is not a consideration. I had to juggle home child and challenging job without any help at all and not complain. For many years I was the sole breadwinner and had to keep my daughter and my GP husband in the manner is which they had become accustomed.
My husband was a total failure in the help department. My daughter ran rings around us both. If she had had her way she would have left home at seven and really she did. She didn't need me after seven and never has since.  I suppose I should be proud of raising a truly brilliant independent woman.
I can only sit back and marvel at the way she has turned in spite of me. Fortunately children survive their parents!
I still feel a complete failure in this area. I did my best and I am proud of my offspring but looking back I  really was not up to the task. Motherhood was not my best field. 
I told my daughter that she was on her own when she had her own child as I had obviously been totally inadequate as a mother. Unlike me she is doing a superb job.
'Hats off' to mothers everywhere where would men be without them! 

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