Wednesday, April 29, 2015

On living alone in 21 century - Janette Miller

Janette Miller 2015

Today the UK Guardian ran a strange article about living alone. It seems the writer would feel uncomfortable going to a concert alone!
One of the signature pleasures of life in New York City is the freedom to drink alone at a bar or eat alone in a restaurant without needing to worry that anyone’s judging you harshly, because everyone does it. (I realize it’s harder for women than men to drink solo at bars unbothered – but my female friends agree that it’s easier here than elsewhere, at any rate.) Yet my tolerance for public solitude has limits: I’d never take a book to the pub on Saturday night, and wouldn’t eat alone in a Michelin-starred restaurant even if I could afford to. I’ve often gone to films alone, but “taking myself on a date” to a concert or play is inconceivable: that, for some reason, would make me feel like a loser. Oliver Burkeman

If I worried about that I should never go anywhere. Being an only female child of an only child, I have few relations and have always been alone. It really has never bothered me.

Even when I was married I had to travel alone for business and the fact that my husband could not travel because of illness. If I worried about this I should never do anything. I love Wagner, few of my friends do, so if I did not go alone I should never see The Ring. I stood through that alone at Covent Garden when I was 16 and have been going alone ever since. I am going to hear Christine Goerke alone when she comes to sing in Auckland and  being alone will not spoil my evening one bit.

We all are alone and we definitely die alone. I do get annoyed when I fine dine alone that I usually get poor service from the staff, that happens too when two women dine in such establishments. The remedy is to complain but I enjoy good food and can see no reason not to treat myself.

I now live alone. Have done for 13 years. Thought I should hate it but now I enjoy it. I can do what I like. I actually pity people with huge families.

I have learned  like myself. I give myself presents. I buy my diamonds not my husband, I give myself holidays and I treat myself as I treat others, that means well. I do not feel sorry for myself. We are all alone today more than ever before and we only have one life so we might as well live with it that does not mean I do not appreciate my friends, but I realise that my friends are friends and I am not their first call. Christmas is the only time I can feel a bit left out . Being left out of weddings does not bother me and I do not have to buy a present for someone I hardly know.

I shall be dying alone, as we all do but have made a few plans in that direction. It will be horrid so do it quickly and with little fuss.

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